People often want a clean story about why they left religion. The cleaner story sounds more dignified. It sounds more rational. Real departures are usually mixed. The head and heart move together, then take turns leading. Pain can prepare the ground for argument. Argument can intensify pain. Desire can make one line of reasoning feel more breathable than another.
Asking whether the heart left before the head is therefore not an insult. It is a diagnostic question. If betrayal, shame, resentment, grief, or forbidden longing moved first, that does not make the later arguments false. It does mean the arguments entered a life already charged in a certain direction. Good self-knowledge helps keep the inquiry honest.
The goal is not self-discredit. The goal is proportion. The human being owes God truthful inwardness as well as formal belief. That requires knowing which part of the self is speaking loudest, and whether the arguments being trusted are carrying more emotional freight than one first admitted.